awkward christmas party

Last weekend my sister and I threw a Christmas party for our friends while we were in SLC visiting our family. The following describes just how awkward and uncomfortable the party was for me, and should be read aloud to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas":

With just four days till Christmas,
in just one single room...
Four girls I've dated,
Three of them I've smooched with,
Two of those are ex-es,
And my pregnant wife who chatted with them all.